Needing to know how to want to live.

Im Candy. Im supposed to be having a birthday February 29th, but after losing everyone that mattered to me, im not so sure I’ll make it to 36. 

The Warfare Within

As I embark on this new life journey blogging about my life and struggles dealing with PTSD; an important part of the healing process requires you to let go of your past. ✍️ Who you were does not have to be who you are. And because of that, I want to let everyone know that […]

The struggle

I first attempted suicide when I was fourteen years old and also began self-harming by cutting on myself. I’ve been in and out of the hospital since then. When I was 28 I had my most serious suicide attempt by standing in front of a train. I was hit head on, ran over, and dragged […]

Yesterday. (ignore picture)

TW: Self-Harm Yesterday I found the pair of scissors I use to slash my wrists. I was doing really well, I hadn’t relapsed in a while. About a week, if I had to guess. My scars had mostly healed up by now. But I relapsed yesterday. I don’t know what it is about SH, because […]

the glass that could repair its cracks.

From a very young age, I was given many things, but the one I lacked the most was love. Every time I felt sad, my parents’ question always loomed: “Sad about what? You have everything.” Every time I felt upset, I received a: “you’re exaggerating” every time I didn’t want to do or go somewhere […]

How a kid who was always happy, was also very depressed

It all started when I was in Jr. High. Nobody could understand how a kid who was always happy, smiling and telling jokes, suddenly started being afraid of everything and depressed about “simple” things. My mom decided to take me to the psychologist and after some treatment; the psychologist thought it’d be a better idea […]

Hope is alive…

There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask ”What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, what if you fly?                                                – Erin HansonThe way I view life now, at 31, vastly differs from the way I viewed life at 10, 16, 21… and I think that’s the […]

Hope was something that I never thought possible.

My story is one that has been in the making for close to ten years now.Like the seasons, it’s ebbed and flowed. Some seasons being shorter and sweeter than others. But tis life I suppose. In it’s simplest form, I’ve struggled with depression and self harm for almost ten years now, with two suicide attempts […]

I’m so ashamed of the person I became.

I find such madness in the fact that before I was around 11 I had such high goals in life. They were all stripped away by my mental illness and by the choices I made. I ran away a lot from the age of 13 to 17. I was highly suicidal and the 1st time […]

Attempted Suicide and self-harm

It was a Saturday evening. My dad and I got into an argument about Instagram and we were both pissed at each other. He wouldn’t talk to me and I wouldn’t talk to him. I downloaded Instagram without asking him and he got mad at me for it. So after we had the argument, I […]